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| I have a new home. Visit me and I will convince Jesus to stop making fun of you.
theblasphemousminute's new home | | |
| MY PANTS CAN STILL GO CRAZY
Taiwan has served as a virtual wasteland when it has come to women. Dating someone here is just about impossible. 99% of Taiwanese women who are willing to talk to foreigners are sluts just looking for a sexual encounter with "whitey". Now, I am not above this or anything, but the burning sensation is unbearable at this point. So, dating Taiwanese is out of the question. There are not too many foreign women here either. And most of them are unattractive and annoying. So, when I showed up this morning to teach and encountered the lovely Loraina, my jaw hit the floor. It isn't so much that Loraina is an incredibly hot girl or anything, but her white skin and white-people features caused me to awkwardly stare. I made small talk with her just so I could enjoy the company. I didn't mind that she continually forced the conversation back to her boyfriend. I was just happy to be in the presence of an attractive white girl. So, in honor of my shallow and awkward love for Loraina, I will now present my list of Top 5 Women (as of May 22, 2005). As with any Top 5, this list is presented in no particular order. Feel free to add your own Top 5.
Top 5 Women
1. Marisa Tomei
2. Rachel Weisz
3. Selma Hayek
4. Natalie Portman
5. Scarlett Johansson | | |
| QUICK HITS
Is the emergent church the new "emo"?
"I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning" is still the best Bright Eyes album yet.
David Bazan still makes better albums than Conor Oberst.
I have two really big pet-peeves. Since I know that I am better than most people I usually allow these things to go unmentioned. Most people who cross me in these two ways are almost always dead to me anyway. 1) I hate being told that the food I'm eating is gross, looks like poop, looks like throw-up, etc. 2) I hate being asked to call people by ridiculous nicknames. By rule, no nickname should ever be exceptionally longer than the person's actual name, nor should it be embarrassing to say. Apparently, "ridiculous" and "embarrassing," are not the obejective standards I once thought them to be.
Will God's grace or love ever touch these sinful lips again?
Asians love to moisturize.
blasphemousGenSlay does not hate mentally handicapped people.
blasphemousGenSlay does indeed hate Jesus.
If I were an Olympic athlete and I won a gold medal, I would ask for one of two songs to be played as the American flag was being raised: "When The President Talks To God" or "Backwoods Nation." This would not be a polotical statement, but a reminder to the rest of the world that, because I'm an American, I am better than them.
Will the blasphemousSpaceman ever email me?
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| DO YOU HATE RETARDS, TOO?
Apparently, the only thing GenSlay hates more than conservatives, stupid people, and Jesus himself, are retarded people.
GenSlay: (smelling Wilco) Why doesn't my hair smell this good days after I wash it?
the BM: Because you sweat through your skin. He sweats through his mouth. How cool would it be if we sweat through our mouths? We would be drooling on ourselves all the time.
GenSlay: (laughing) We would be drooling on ourselves like retarded people.
the BM: *shock*
GenSlay: (still laughing) No, seriously, that's the weirdest thing about retarded people.
the BM: *still shocked* *nervous laughing*
GenSlay: (continues smelling Wilco while obviously thinking of more derogatory things to say about retarded people)
After reading over that conversation I'm not sure what is more disturbing: GenSlay's fetish of smelling Wilco or his need to attack the defenseless. | | |
| The thermometer on my bedroom air conditioner reads 27 degrees Clesius right now (roughly 81 degrees according to a "real" thermometer). It's one o'clock in the morning. Holy shit, this summer is going to be rough.
Today I found out I will be teaching for the third Saturday in a row this week. How did I find this out? My boss telling me? A Chinese teacher dropping it into a conversation about a class? A fellow foreign teacher seeking me out to complain about "this Saturday bullshit"? None of the fucking above. I read it on a bulletin board in our office. Maybe they continually leave me out of the loop b/c they actually know I'm better than them, and I really can't be bothered by their meaningless lives and the details of said lives. I'm fucking awesome. I'm fucking working on Saturday. Again.
Thanks to BlasphemousGenSlay's curiosity, I now know about my "On The Go" playlist on my iPod. For those of you who arn't hip enough to own an iPod, this option allows you to build a playlist on your actual iPod away from your iTunes. It basically allows you to create a nice little mix CD on the go, which is great if you hate the "Shuffle". Here is the track list from my drive home tonight:
1. Hanging Marionettes - The Appleseed Cast
2. Road To Joy - Bright Eyes
3. Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
4. Sleeping In - The Postal Service
5. The Sound of Settling - Death Cab For cutie
6. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
7. Fair - Ben Folds Five
8. Blindspot - Brandtson
9. Heaven - The Fire Theft | | |
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